After Lava

The red glow disappeared and was replaced by the anaemic flourescent light revealing the cavern for what it really is.
Of course two bottles of Sangsom helped any detail escape unnoticed.

Up the stairs, bursting out onto the street, we paused for a moment to breath in the fresh air and let the sweat cool us.
Dodging sweaty tourists and horny girls, we headed to Bangkok Bar's streetside cafe.
Down the street, right and then left onto the soi.
I don't remember any of this, but it had to have happened because my next memory is ordering two gin and tonics, and a plate of cheesy whatsits.
My head was just slowing to a manageable spin when behind me I heard the clink of ice as the waiter deftly placed the drinks on the table and spun away to take care of some other drunkard.
Well, it looked deft to me anyway.

The girl to the right of Don, was particularly attractive (again - to me anyway) and I started talking to Don about her in Afrikaans, which despite being a horrible thing to do, is especially convenient when you are unable to judge the volume of your voice.
Don, fortified with whiskey, leaned over and told her I was interested in her, and would she like to talk to us...
Bastard.

"I'm writing in my journal" she shifted uncomfortably, and continued writing.
"Where you from?" Don, uncharacteristicley continued.
"Belgium".

Shit.
Belgium.
They speak Flemish there.
Shit.

Flemish is remarkably similar to Afrikaans, meaning she understood every word we spoke.

I laughed and asked her if she understood what we were saying.
She said yes.
Shit.

I lifted my G&T and took a deep swallow.
She was still talking to Don, which was a good sign, so I joined in again.
Of course, we'd not said anything bad about her (wasn't anything bad to say) so she didn't care much.
I sobered a little, and we spoke for a good hour. Chinese origin, but Belgian raised, she made for interesting conversation.
Before leaving, we traded numbers, and suprisingly, she has stayed in touch.

On the way to the taxi, A (not a.) called and routine took over...

Gaiety

This weekend is Bangkok Pride Parade, which as I overheard someone say, is a little like having a two eyes and a head parade, alluding to the fact that being gay in Bangkok is definitely not unusual.
Not unusual perhaps, but definitely not on a par with being heterosexual. People are always amazed to see how lady boys, and extraodinarily effeminate men integrate so easily into society here.
But maybe they wouldn't need to place their sexuality on such open display if they were accepted as normal, and not encouraged to make themselves into something different to find identity.
Gay men are accepted. But not as they are. They must first transform themselves into something in which people can find entertainment value.
And don't even get me started on lesbians. I've watched as a co-worker has been laughed at and ridiculed for being lesbian. And this from 10 year olds.
Gays and lesbians are not hated here. No, instead the hatred is turned into ridicule and joke material.
Maybe that is a step in the right direction. Maybe with more exposure, and a more visible presence in society, mind sets will shift.
But the circus into which homosexuality is sometimes made can sometimes be painful to watch.
I'll be there nonetheless, waving my flag and cheering.

At home.

There is a petrol station just next to our apartment, which sports a big blue sign that reaches about ten storeys high, and at night, just before I go to sleep, I like to watch the cars stream past it in a line of red and yellow.
I stand on the balconey with my knees pressed hard against the whitewashed walls, and lean over the side so the walls are out of my peripheral vision, and the sky hems in black around my head.
I especially like it when it rains, and the city turns into an expanse of black velvet onto which diamonds are thrown haphazardly and ruby streaks are threaded along its seams.
Those are pretty happy times.
Which starts me thinking that maybe I don't need to be travelling so much. Maybe what will make me happy is just staying where I'm happy.
So thats what I'm doing.
For at least one more year I'll be staring out my balconey late at night, waiting for nothing, practising being happy.